


I, in the Shadow

by blinking_post



Category: Block B, Winner (Band)
Genre: Appearance by KSY, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7948024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinking_post/pseuds/blinking_post
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It’s four in the morning when his phone pings at him, jarring him out of his thoughts and back to reality.  When he sees the message -- Hyung, come hang out with me -- he can’t help the stupid smile spreading across his face, feels the tightness in his cheeks and affection in his tired eyes.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I, in the Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Special thinks to [Holly](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicink/pseuds/alchemicink) and [Sarah](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahnity/pseuds/tintatalk) for looking over the story for me ^_^.

\----

 

It’s four in the morning when his phone pings at him, jarring him out of his thoughts and back to reality.  When he sees the message -- Hyung, come hang out with me -- he can’t help the stupid smile spreading across his face, feels the tightness in his cheeks and affection in his tired eyes.

 

Quick fingers type back a reply instantly.

 

_ Yah, what sort of time do you think this is? _

 

Mino answers him with only a smiley face, the punk, and Jiho knows he has already lost, feels it in the way his chest contracts and all air rushing out of his lungs.  He stares at his computer screen for a moment -- half finished song still open -- then shakes his head and saves what little work he’s done.  Two minutes later he’s out the door with a cap to cover his face and a hoodie to keep him warm.

 

Seungyoon -- tired with eyes rimmed so red Jiho is surprised he’s still standing somehow -- opens the door for him and then shakes his head like he should have expected this.  Jiho offers him a silent shrug because what else could he do?  It’s Mino.  Jiho isn’t going to say no when Mino asks.  Seungyoon answers his shrug with a gentle smile, and steps aside to motion him in.

 

The smile, instead of comforting him makes him worry all the more, so he says while entering, “Seungyoon, seriously, get your ass in bed.”

 

“I will, hyung,” he says in reply as he closes the door.

 

More importantly: “Mino?”

 

And there it is again, that knowing look Seungyoon never could quite hide; the one Jiho never could quite ask about either because he’s fucking terrified Seungyoon might tell him he knows Jiho’s secret, the one he’s kept so close to his chest and yet still so out in the open.  It seems like everyone -- Kyung, Jihoon, Seungyoon, Taewoon -- knows at this point.  Everyone except Mino because he can be so damn clueless sometimes.

 

They walk together, Seungyoon leading him through the living room and down the hall to Mino’s room.  Two knocks against wood with his knuckles before Seungyoon pokes his head in, says affectionately, “Mino-yah.”

 

Mino answers with a groan while Seungyoon steps inside without him, door wide open for Jiho to see but no actual invitation.  He never knows if he needs one anymore.  He never did before but things are different now.

 

Typical, he thinks with a rush of affection invading his senses as he watches Mino bat Seungyoon’s hand away.

 

“Mino-yah,” Seungyoon says again, gentle as he settles on Mino’s bed, Mino curling towards him, the tip of his head touching Seungyoon’s knees as he whines.  It tears Jiho apart.  Just a little.  It chips away at him bit by bit as he watches.  Traitorous things.  His chest and throat tighten at the thought that that used to be him.  He used to be the one always by Mino’s side.  He’s not a stranger, not by a fucking long shot, but Mino’s got other people now; people who are there for him at a moment’s notice.  People who struggle and laugh and cry with him.  People Mino can lean on without a second thought and all before Jiho even fucking knows anything is wrong.

 

Before Winner, when Mino had chosen to cry in some stranger’s arms instead of Jiho’s that fucking broke him, had him sobbing for the first time in front of his members.  Mino was sad and struggling and hurting and there was nothing Jiho could do for him, nothing he could do at all but watch it all go down and cry harder.  It still makes him sad to think about it sometimes, how they did everything together and yet still ended up in different teams wearing different clothes and singing different music.

 

Of all the directions Mino’s life could have gone, if Jiho couldn’t have him in his team then this is the way he wanted Mino’s life to have played out.  It’s a different kind of struggle now though.  Too much fucking work, too little time for it all.  Flying back and forth.  Japan, Korea, China.  And yet Jiho knows how much Mino itches underneath all of that.  He wants more for his team.  A new single at least, if not an album and Jiho understands that.  At least Seungyoon is there.  If not Jiho himself, then Seungyoon is a good alternative.  Still, that doesn’t stop his hands from fisting into the pockets of his hoodie.  No matter how close they are -- him and Mino -- no matter the fact that he’d be there in a heartbeat if Mino asks, truth is he’s an outsider now.  Seungyoon and the rest of his group, they’re on the inside and Jiho just visits and hangs out with Mino when they’re both miraculously free.  Sometimes that means four in the fucking morning but he won’t give that up for a damn thing.

 

Mino whines again into Seungyoon, but jumps up like he’s been shot with adrenaline when Seungyoon mentions his name.  Wide grin and tired face greets him.  “Zico-hyung,” he says.  “What took you so long?  I nearly fell asleep!”

 

“Idiot,” he says affectionately in return.  “If you’re tired you should sleep instead.”

 

A shrug answers him and that ends that line of conversation.  He’s weak against Mino and the punk knows it too.

 

Seungyoon gives Mino’s head an affectionate rub, pale fingers in Mino’s jet black hair, making sure to muss it up in the process, Mino protesting, and then he leaves them alone, throws Jiho another knowing look on his way out as Jiho steps inside.

 

They settle onto the bed together just the two of them, computer screen playing an action movie Jiho isn’t watching.  Mino, with his head in Jiho’s lap, isn’t watching either.  Two minutes in Mino had turned onto his other side and burrowed his face into Jiho’s stomach, light little snores accompanying them not even a minute after.

 

Maybe he should go.  Five minutes, he tells himself.  And then another five minutes.  Five more after that.

 

His most precious dongsaeng.

 

“Was Jihoon jealous?” Mino had asked with a shit eating grin on his face after that particular episode had aired.  Jiho had shoved his shoulder lightly and told him to get back to practicing with a faux exasperated grin of his own.  Of course Jihoon was jealous.  Didn’t make it not true.

 

Back then he hadn’t understood what this feeling was.  When it was good, when Mino was still set to debut with him, it had felt like a dream, hazy and rose-tinted, the heat of summer making them both drowsy and content even while they shared tiny, mice infested apartments together, huddled close on one tiny mattress when the cold of winter creeped in.  When it was bad, when Mino was forced to leave… well, he was fucking useless, wasn’t he?  He hadn’t been able to do anything but squeeze Mino tight in his arms and promise him that if he was patient his time would come.  Mino had squeezed him back and, light and happy like he was reassuring Jiho instead, said, “I know, hyung.  I know.”

 

Here’s the thing about hugs no one wants to think about, the thing no one tells you: A hug is just a way to hide your face.

 

Mino disappeared.  A month or two.  Jiho can’t remember properly because it had felt like an endless stretch of time while he felt weak and pathetic and like he’d destroy the entire world and watch it burn if only he could see Mino happy again.  On and on and on it went -- too long -- until Kyung had decided everyone had had enough, gotten him plastered drunk one night so he could wallow in his pity properly before telling him to get his shit together because the rest of them needed him too.

 

Jiho doesn’t begrudge Mino for finding lifelong friends, brothers, in his members but he sometimes wonders what life would have been like if Mino had been by his side instead of theirs.  Back then he hadn’t known what this feeling was.  Now he’s uncomfortably aware.

 

So like the idiot that he is he lets five minutes pass.  Ten minutes.  Twenty.  A hundred and twenty even and he should have gone home a long time ago but it’s been too long since he’d last seen Mino and he’s a selfish bastard.  So after the movie another five.  Another ten.  Another twenty until he’s blinking awake with the shrill of an alarm.  Below him Mino groans and blindly reaches for his phone, groans some more when he sees that the time really is eight in the morning, meaning he’s got to get his ass up because his schedule is about to start.  He rolls off of Jiho and out of bed, blinks cutely in the way that always throws Jiho off balance, and then he’s shuffling onto his feet and to his closet.  He pulls his shirt off, well-toned muscles in his shoulders rippling as Jiho watches, telling himself not to fucking stare because Jesus Christ this is Mino and Mino  _ trusts him. _

 

Finally some semblance of alive, Mino turns to face him.  With barely opened, bleary eyes and an ever present cheeky grin, he says, “Good morning, hyung.”

 

His own greeting comes out raw, sound grating against his vocals.

 

The thing about Mino is that he always does things that throw Jiho off.  They’re not expected but after it happens he’d always think, of fucking course, that was so fucking Song Mino he doesn’t know why he’d been surprised in the first place.

 

He had gone for his customary good-bye half hug when it was time to go when Mino kissed him.  Shy and sweet but purposeful and over in the blink of an eye.  Jiho hadn’t been sure it was real until he finally glanced at Mino and saw the blush high on Mino’s cheekbones.

 

His voice catches in his throat, the rush of his heart pounding loud in his ears.  He swallows slowly, asks thickly, “What?”

 

Mino shucks from foot to foot, a hand on the back of his neck, embarrassed but boldly, daring, no hesitation and so fucking Mino he says to Jiho, “It was love for me.  All those times: rapping underground and training together, living in shit places and starving with nothing to eat but a bowl of rice between us, being forced to say good-bye.  It’s stupid but I kind of just realized.  I loved you.”

 

His stomach drops.  “Loved?”

 

Mino freezes, arms tight at his side, and then he bravely declares, “Love.”

 

Fucking  _ fuck. _  Only Song Mino.  And then in the blink of an eye Mino turns shy again, eyes shifting away, hands fidgeting and fuck, Jiho is weak.  He has absolutely no resolve because he’s wanted this for so long but if God forbid somehow he did it would have all came crumbling down when Mino asks him, “What about you?  Sometimes you look at me like -- I don’t know -- like you might want something more too an-”

 

Jiho doesn’t let him finish.  His fingers hook behind Mino’s neck, draws him near in an instant, lips upon lips.  Mino opens for him, a flick of tongue against his teeth and then it’s an eternity of hot, hard, heavy kisses, moaning into each other’s mouths as their bodies press together.  The need for air breaks them apart and he would be annoyed except it does give him the chance to finally reply.

 

“Of course I love you.”

 

He tries to wipe off Mino’s too pleased with himself grin with their next kiss but finds himself giving in and smiling into it too.

 

Fucking Song Mino.  Jiho really can’t help himself when it comes to Mino.  Even back then -- before debut, before Mino left -- when things were utter shit (and yet still somehow so good) and he’d been so fucking clueless about everything, especially about being in love, he knew he had found something special, something he felt was more important than himself.  After all these years that realization was still so completely fucking true.

 

\----

**Author's Note:**

> Truth is I don't know much about Zico (or Block B). Most everything I know about Zico is in connection with/to Mino. I do think their friendship is amazing though, and I love how transparent Zico is about his affection towards Mino ^_^.
> 
> Even though I don't know much about Zico and the story might reflect that, I still hope that you were able to enjoy the fic ^_^.
> 
> And, as always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated ^_^.


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